Well I was never sure where this was going to go

after I let the drugs and alcohol go

Just have to adjust to where the rivers of life flow

but don’t get too comfortable because you just don’t

know

–

the marriage that I entered after making the change was a one sided affair and I finally admitted that it was insane…… spending so much time trying to convince myself that given enough love and understanding….. I could facilitate a change

love can be very strong and powerful….. however it is no match for reality

–

i did not go out of my way to be the person I am

I don’t try to be out of step with the rest of life… but I was born with my own  rhythm

and few seem to catch the cadence

fitting in has always felt like shoes that are either too tight or not wide enough

walking like a Japanese woman with bound feet

I took them off and I’m not putting them on again

ever

–

excuse to go back to purgatory

No……

the lines are too long

that wasn’t the answer

the answer is to surrender….. defeated  oddly enough….. by myself

our literature suggests an inability to form a lasting partnership with another human being…. Look at us …..right on the money

G…….aka “Everything” told me to step aside and He would take care of it…….3 years later and countless mission trips ……( actually I was the mission) but everywhere I went I was there with my bag of torture devices……anger…. lust…. contempt……denial

I was in great shape….. but they were in better

–

so I give up …… I know how to pretend to get what I desire

but I’m not doing it…..

I finally realize that there is one thing that people fear more than death …… the truth

You know the deal G…….. I’m throwing my hand in

this deck is rigged…. But you knew that

You were just waiting till I realized that

–

we can start a new game …. You shuffle…. You deal and as usual everything is wild

-🦍🚐🦍🚐🦍🚐🦍🚐🦍-