a summers day………………..45 years ago………….young man with a frisbee going to the park……………………a few joined in and we played for a bit…..took a break to get some sun……………………you came over and sat down on the bench and introduced yourself…………..Nadine

we took a walk around the Lake and ducked into the bushes to smoke a joint…………………we kept it light………….but i sensed their was a burden you carried………………………………

we met several times over the next few months and it was obvious that we were attracted to each other………………we kissed when we met and when we left……………………it never went any further………..i was okay with that because eventually i thought it would……………..we just walked…….talked………..rode bikes and hung out…………………….you were quiet and that was okay with me, i never pressed you about that ”burden”………………….

later you told me that in a previous life a older man befriended you and you became his ”mule”…………….but you didn’t realize it until the FBI came to visit you…………..you thought you were just dropping off cars…………and he was good to you, never tried to come on to you, and paid you well……..but that ended in you testifying in court about your dealings with him……..which got you into the witness protection program……………you said you didn’t know how long you would be here and that you were in love with me and you just couldn’t go any further and if your handlers knew you were confiding in me……………..that was a no-no for your protection and you wanted to but wasn’t going to put either of us through that pain………..you gave me this silver ring with designs around it and called it the ”remember ring” and put it on my hand……………………i started crying because i knew in my heart this is it……………….just a matter of time…………we when for a walk exchanged small talk and i asked if you would meet me tomorrow same time same place…………..you agreed……………..

you never showed up and i walked to the bench were we would sometimes sit and there was a note taped to the back where you had to look closely to find………….it read..

David i love you more than you will ever know, it grieves me to have to leave this way, but i didn’t have a say…………i was found and had to be relocated………….i will not be allowed to contact you, i’m sorry. i kept that little bit of space between us out of respect, it was hard…think of me as someone who will always love you from afar…………….life is hard…..Nadine

ps. the remember ring was the best i could do…………forgive me

she was gone

couldn’t wear the ring at first now i never take it off……when i need to remember something i move the ring to the opposite hand and it has been working for 45 years………………………..

the apprenticeship of a poet is very simple………………………..nothing you will write will be worth saving until your heart has been broken a 100 times……she was the first………………..i passed a 100 a long time ago…..