with these pills i wed myself to a life of certain destruction and chaos

little to no concern for others or how my addiction effects them

i choose not to face the issues in my life, you deal with them and look after me

i have a right to be the way i am because life has been unfair to me and by the way i could use a few dollars until my check comes

the one i get for being a pain in the ass and the social services department just wants me to get the paperwork i need to continue this fiasco so i can get the hell outta there so they can help people who really need it, and i know that

they thought i would have died by now but i continue to confound them and they loathe me, but i don’t care, about anyone or anything but me

so after a hard day at the clinic, i collapse in the chair by the window, part of the furnishings a local church provided, in the apartment the government provides,  and pop the top on the the pills that will put me in another world, chased with a beer

what a life…………………………sad thing is i’m so used to it if feels right

my name is leslie, but my family calls me” broken toy”