A.C.E……..it

when you get to the end…………………if you are lucky enough to see it coming, often we aren’t so lucky, have the guts to accept that you are the reason it turned out the way it did because of the choices you made…………if you don’t like it, accept the responsibility……….. but if…

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He’s not coming

He’s not coming, that God you fear, pray to when you are in despair and hope that He hears…………………lay awake at night thinking nobody cares………………He’s not coming, because He’s already here…………………………when your feet seem tangled and you struggle to talk, you have trouble forming words and you would rather not…

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indolent

perhaps some would call it lazy and some would term it a break…….actually i couldn’t care less how they would term it………. today i am going to skate…..across this imaginary pond and feel the wind in my face…………anything that requires my attention………………….today it can wait…………………for i have had many days…

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projecting……………..the noose around my neck……for vic and bill k.

i put the noose around my neck every time i project…………….because it leaves me with a false feeling…………..that i know what to expect……………my fears and humanity color my reality and leave me with a distorted view of the world and the issues i face…..so every time i think i see…

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thank-you……..i need your help

one cannot be grateful without humility i am not capable of performing miracles, only attest to them there are only two emotions……….love…..and fear i have come to terms with the revelation: there is no destination, only the journey everything is controlled by my attitude my attitude is controlled by my…

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THE PUZZLE

i am putting this puzzle together, most people refer to it as ”life” ………….as with everyone i have had my struggles….. i have had my fights………….but it always seems like some of the pieces were missing, i just couldn’t get it right…………..i always had a faith………and i was taught my…

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hand-writer

a letter, mark, caricature, sign something to help this feeble mind, remember what it is i’m supposed to do and where i’m supposed to be………..the current trend, i say current because the hand-writers i  know don’t do current or trends, they do what they do that works for them…………………..i am…

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Flaneur at heart

the road ahead beckons me but as i have passed through time, my experience reminds me to look closely as i pass………. to examine and reflect the present and presence of where i am………….. for it does little good to reach if i am not aware of my feet……….. where…

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1st face it/ 2nd deal with it

i don’t like it where i am but that’s okay………….i suppose i’m where i am supposed to be……………..at least i’m not afraid to look and i can acknowledge what i see………i reckon i’m where i am supposed to be……………..don’t have the desire to cover things up or pretend i’m somewhere…

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what child is this……

what Child is this that is causing such a stir, they tell me He has His own star, people are coming from near and far……….to witness the birth of a kid in the slums, and i hear talk that He will turn things upside down……………….i want to know about this…

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still holding on…………..

the first move to get back on track is to realize that you aren’t all here…….which requires a constant assessment of what’s going on with me,…………..constant……………i still hold on to things i cannot control and rattle off complaints that serve no other purpose than to needle and cause confusion………………i am…

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bulletproof……………hmmm

i’m not saying my faith would stop a bullet, but that’s on me………….says in the Big B  ”faith the size of a mustard seed…….can move a mountain,”  so i am definitely lacking in that area, but it would keep me alive and let me heal……….i believe that…………the gift of faith…

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abnegation/feels better when i do it

there are always things that need to be taken away and things that need to be added, but it goes down better if i deny myself than if you do…………….self correction and self assessment are tricky at best………………come on…………….getting me out of the way so that i can see me,…

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just me and you

the reality is that it’s just me and you, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be………okay i have family, work, friends and associates……………but when i step aside from the calamity of this world……….just me and you……………….

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lachrymose or lachrymouse

i have watched you play this game of hastily manufactured pain in hopes you may gain sympathy from and unsuspecting pawn………….only to be used until their usefulness is…………..gone…………………in a snap of the fingers you can give and award winning rendition of ”Gone With the Wind” and even Scarlett is impressed…

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no strings attached/for vic and willy

the thing that is the most fascinating about our relationship……………no strings attached…..we do what we do because we love each other in the purest form, friendship…….i come without hesitation to seek input concerning all sorts of ideas and issues…………your response is neither conditioned with fear of loss, or hope of…

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if you want to

you can change…………………if you want to………………you have to really want to……..forget that it will be challenging……….you should know that going in……….you have to be clear what your reasons are for seeking change…….precise………or you won’t do it…….you just won’t…………………..how will the change help me……..how will the change help others………………will it bring…

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paperclip

i wish i had mental paperclip that would keep thoughts together, because they fade quickly……no matter how i try to recall………they slip through the cracks and then they are gone……………some would say it’s a matter of age…………..but it seems to me that this has been going on for awhile and…

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start out right, end up right….maybe

that old saying certainly is correct that if you are headed in the right direction to begin with you are more likely to reach your anticipated destination…………….but there will be hiccups and bumps along the way which require adjustments…….don’t assume that because you get the direction correct you are home…

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living your life or life living you?

let’s be clear, this is no dress rehearsal and you cannot stop the clock, not suggesting you should hurry but you gotta take the shot, and even if you miss, get the ball and shoot again, even if you never hit the mark at least you took a chance…. such…

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until it hurts me…….

i may apologize and berate myself and hang my head and sigh……..but the truth of the matter is….until it hurts me……………..i won’t change………..until there is no one else to blame and no other assailants are in view………it may bother me my actions, what i say and do but until it…

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ossified

i shall not lament that inside of me there is a tree of rigidity, i make no apologies nor defense that it will remain as long as i am capable of breath…….whereas there are many things subject to change, my faith does not fall into that range………and i will flex…

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mountain climber

surveying conditions and checking his gear…………the weather makes it clear……a good climber knows when to stop……….the pace can never crossover to a race for that is where disaster looms………reluctantly hanging his platform he resigns himself to tomorrow……………forsaking ego to tread on………..he recalls the precarious situations that testosterone and impatience have…

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illusions

doing the right thing will always make you happy feelings are always helpful if you give someone respect they will respect you giving is good no matter how you do it your mind is your friend your family will always be honest with you you know what’s best for you…

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let go of the string

the kite took flight and was almost out of sight when i decided to let go, at first i was apprehensive that i had given up control, but as it disappeared in the clouds i felt a lightness in my soul…….i have since used that experience to release many things……..realizing…

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lazy and inconsiderate: until it bothers me, could care less that it bothers you

not very flattering but i’m here to speak the truth, until it bothers me i don’t care that it bothers you….now that doesn’t sound mature or compassionate but i am being honest where i am…….until it causes problems for me i just don’t give a damn……………i wish i could say…

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haste…….blows up in my face

when i engage in haste,……….it always blows up in my face……………when i try to push the pace, i tucker out and lost the race………………when i am off balance and refuse to sit down, i always trip and fall to the ground………while i am in this pitiful state……….it is only then…

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force field

i give thanks for the protection the Lord gives me…………….a force field that surrounds and keeps out the enemy…….i can’t see or smell it but it’s effects are obvious to me…………i know without it my life would be a struggle everyday……….. people are befuddled when they come with their attack,…

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rocks in my shoes

just so i don’t get an attitude, that i’m all that and i’m smooth, i always put a few rocks in my shoes…………..God forbid that i should look like i know what to do, not to appear cocky, i put a few rocks in my shoes…… now i must admit…

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i don’t want to….but i will pray for you

as much it will cause my gut to ache………i will pray for you…………………when i see how you operate, the attempts to confuse and separate……….it’s all i can do to look at your face………but i will pray for you……..i will pray for you because you are sick and you take pleasure…

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