what i can give to U

what i can give to U is the respect that U deserve………….. for all the times known and unknown U have protected me from myself……… what i can give to U is what you have asked of me……….to go and share the story of Your sacrifice and love…………………….. i must…

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i know He’s there/for car lotz

can’t see Him, but i know He’s there, walking with me and stroking my hair……………………just like a Father He shows me He cares, i can’t see Him but i know He’s there……………………… many times my thoughts drift away…………….. they land at the feet of my Savior, He says..” my son…

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still coming down

i spent 30 years in the trenches…… fighting this war with myself……and it continues…………….. i am humbled and baffled to find myself a good ways from the clearing………………….i can see it…………but i’m not there still coming down…………….. i have moments when i feel my feet are close to touching only…

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hoping……….you would get over yourself

being around you doesn’t take long to see……..in your mind your life has been a tragedy………………and if you don’t pick up on it……..you will make it clear……………………… hardships are part of life…….you live…………you get twisted……..it hurts…………..you do something about it……………heal………………and go on………………..you never went through that process……………. get over it……………………time…

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air raid

we’ve been circling this target for years….. waiting for orders to drop our load……. we constantly are refueling to return to the same old thing…… round and round we continue waiting for a sign…………only to hear a muffled voice ………….”the treaty is being negotiated continue holding………………we appreciate your patience”…………………..as we…

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one thousand lies

one thousand lies started out as one………………then another followed to cover the first one…………….and that went on and on, ten years later………………………….. the thousandth one hard to imagine someone looking you in the face and swearing it was you who had make a big mistake………………….the nerve of you to say…

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w.w.b.d./what would Ben do

my dear old sponsor………….my dear old friend……………….i know one day i will see you again………………..it will be good to hear you call my name………………………you won’t have to worry………about hearing my complaints…………… Old God surely knew where i was headed and you had already been through…………you helped me so much…………and you…

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retired pugalist

i look at my old gloves as they hang on the wall……. since i stopped fighting i don’t need them anymore…. when i realize the battle was within……………my opponents disappeared……… and i was the only one in the ring…… since i took my gloves off…………….i have had a change of…

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i write because i don’t drink/ for me

sometimes in the dead of night those strangers come sit by my bed when i awake they stare at me, wink and stroke their beards they play a game of cards and the stakes are quite high they offer me a drink and i say ”no thank-you, goodbye”…………….. i rouse…

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possession isn’t love

ownership is appropriate with regards to homes, cars, boats, pets, books, pictures, furniture…….etc………… but not people…………………………. if we view partners as objects………..even objects we care for, look after and value…………….we are misconstruding a basic premise of love………………….voluntary consideration and respect for another not out of duty……….out of love a mentor…………………….i…

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feral/escape from domestication

have always resisted the coersion to comply felt it stunted my growth and i am glad that i figured out a way to survive……….without any intention of joining your tribe…………… i choose my friends carefully and will share what i find………….but if they show signs of control i may change…

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life/2 sided coin

from early on, best to accept……….when things are going well your life is about to flip……………….picture in your mind all the good things are in line……………they are marching to the edge…………to mingle and jingle and tell everyone how good it is…………a little moderation goes a long way……………….and then it flips……………

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glad You know

glad it’s not up to me, glad it’s up to You i can see the storm is coming and all these animals are in the zoo i’m glad You never give us more than You can handle…………until i remember that i stay confused i can see the storm is coming,…

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picking scabs

no one talks about it………………like so many things but we all do it as gross as it seems…………..to hurry the process and get back to normal again………………..but we cant wait for the process to end…………we begin picking scabs and the process begins again and again……. now on this i think…

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older brother aka guardian/4 beno

my older brother is nicer than me, kinder than me, and smarter than me and i suppose that’s the way it’s supposed to be so he can be an older brother……………… my older brother takes care of my Mom………………because he has the patience and he has the love and because…

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obituary

pause for a moment to reflect what you hope people remember about you honestly there are only a few people that i care to be remembered by………………if there is more fine……………..doesn’t matter those people know………………..because i tell them…………..i show them……………i spend time with them…………….i share with them and they share…

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outside their back door

i tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t listen, so i thought i’d write you a song/maybe you’ll hear it and stop and ponder, what you’re doing and what went wrong i’m not sayin’ i was an angel/you made it clear you were going to do your own thing/…

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it’s my thing

it’s not your thing………….it’s my thing you can’t do my thing and i can’t do your thing i won’t judge your thing and hope you won’t judge mine i can show interest and respect for your thing and hope you would consider the same for me………………..but if not that’s okay………….i…

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Redolent

i knew i had smelled that scent before as i walked along the trees the cherry trees where in full bloom and that memory haunted me we walked along the monuments and the distance between us grew i think we knew it was over but we resisted what we knew…

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the better part of you/ for sister V

the better part of you……………..is like the better part of me wants to do the right thing and help others along the way but that other part is there and wants to have it’s way……..generally selfish and self-centered and wants to be the center of everything but i’m glad to…

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easy to get lost

i am easy to get lost and it comes at no great cost……… diverted from the cares of the day…………..while you set and fret i’m way over it………………………… lost in the world that beckons with thing for me to see the tapestry of a leaf………………..the skin that adorns a tree………the…

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the universe of u

the universe of u……………….jusssssssssssst came unglued now what are you gonna do the pieces that you thought fit…………….gave no notice and quit and nobody seems interested in taking their place……… when we are in orbit around ourselves our ability to be objective grows thin and the things we were sure…

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doesn’t depend on u

everyone is doing their best rendition of ”pretend”….wasn’t good now and it won’t be good then……………my oh my…………..what will happen when the truth finds a way to ease itself in…….i’m doing fine, actually thriving……………….because my happiness doesn’t depend on you………….. several years ago it became clear to me…………….you were you…

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kiss the tiger/4 c.

kiss the tiger………….few have the courage but maybe you do as you get closer a curious thing will happen to you the initial fear has gone away and the eyes of the tiger entices you to stay as you linger there is a thought that won’t leave your mind perhaps…

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nothing is free……nothing

you see everything is attached to time…………….when you take the time to admire and enjoy the wonders of this world…………………you are using that time and it isn’t unlimited…………………………………….. so be conscious of where you place your focus…………………….because you are paying for it…………………………. nothing is free…………..and it shouldn’t be……………………..spend your time…

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the gift of desperation

i see you survived the avalanche……….yet another time me thinks you think you could continue this for an indefinite period of time………………… perhaps your should call on those who have partnered with death before…………… when she says the dance is done……………….she will leave you standing alone on the floor……………………….. we…

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drawing outside the lines

encouraged as a child to stay within the lines my job was to fill in the spaces with colors and designs but there was so much wasted room begging to part of i would color the entire page…………………to me it looked very good my teacher would suggest that i resisted…

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God Speaks

most of the time it’s a whisper/occasionally a roar even rarer still………………an all out war………………. i come to these conclusions when i look back over my life from a slight tap on the shoulder…………to a slap upside the head……. to lying in the hospital with a broken hip and rib…………………

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IT’S NEVER THE WORDS

it’s never the words………………..they are efforts to convey the message the mind and heart are trying to say……………….try as we might we seldom get them right………………the emotion is what we are trying to give away………………………………………………the words give signs and encourage reading between the lines digging past the hints that are…

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i took what i wanted/robber/4 C

i took what i wanted……………..you never had a choice the things that i wanted were available to all….. but i took the time to clear a spot where they would grow……………..and i can still feel that embrace and it will linger until my soul leaves this place……… i remember the…

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