make believe is for children

oh what fun it was to rattle off a tale embellished with all sorts of things that never did exist entertained for hours on end as we laughed at each others spoken dreams but as we got older some of us never stopped spinning yarns that no one else believed…

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not controlled

there are immutable things that i must face part of life, they do not go away to earn a wage and pay my bills is a challenge everyday but i severed my ties to things that complicate a life that have little substance and confuse as to the whims of…

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first 5 words

compassion : that i may look beyond what my eyes may see and offer the hand of hope, leaving my opinions and judgement aside obligations: i have made commitments that need to be maintained, keeping an eye out for issues and support that is required to keep those commitments funded…

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not Eckhart

you say today i was your ”yoda” if it was good info it didn’t come from me don’t put me on a pedestal i’ll put up a tent and start selling tickets i am laughing, i’m not Eckhart

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i made it

glad to find when i opened my eyes this world hadn’t done me in, yesterday had me dazed but i trudged on until the end, though it left me weak and troubled, i knew that this would pass, through time i always see, it was just part of a test…

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long enough

little spot on the chart, you barely got a start when your world came to an end you may never know that you had an impact on this world and you never took a breath on your own i saw your mothers face and there was the trace of a…

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just a day / not a life

just a day, not a life , filled with anger, filled with strife but everything will be alright, because it was just a day not a life this world will shake you up and knock you down make you feel foolish and confound make you think you are a clown…

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assume

assume is the villain of reality i would hope by now i would refrain from attempting to forecast the future rarely works and is often an instrument of needless anticipation of things that never meet up to those projections be patient and wait is like asking myself not to eat…

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water on the rock/my head

the dripping water on the rock aroused me from my sleep i heard the constant tapping and it went from aggravation to relief i know it’s been dripping for a long time and i didn’t want to hear what it was telling me but it seeped into my conscious and…

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what did you pay for that

”it was free” i hear you say, smiling i walk away go and get in my car as i ride down the street i look at the empty houses and girls standing in the doorways looking for the next ”john” to diminish their light a little more to get enough…

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good the enemy of the best

okay, okay i hear you say” is that the best you can do” well maybe not but it was ”good enough” to get the mule through maybe this time that will work , but one day you will see when you do ”just enough” you miss the fruit and growth…

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I’m watching you/ you dumb-ass……….for me

I’m watching you, you dumb-ass, sorry to use those terms but it often pisses me off how my teachings you turn to fit your own agenda, to justify your rage You think you are doing My Work but you are the one setting the stage let’s try this again and…

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the last few moments

the telephone rings and a voice haltingly speaks: ” someone you love is approaching death’s door, no time for details, come as fast as you can, i know they would want you to be here before they leave this plane” so you rush to the hospital and it’s a dear…

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i call your name

most of the time it’s not audible i say it in my mind and i become aware of Your presence though You have never left my side often it seems i am so far away and i know i have created that distance in my mind just a prayer, a…

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the cleansing/soul laundry

i cannot say if everyone experiences a cleansing of the soul i suppose one must seek a spiritual life and realize when their soul is soiled i can only stand so much hypocrisy until i can no longer entertain thoughts that leave love wanting and sends kindness down the drain…

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what i know

i have been writing my thoughts down for over 50 years, it went fast what i have managed to learn definitively is this: the grass is green, the sky is blue, what you see depends on what’s inside of you if you are not looking with your heart you are…

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rolling away

i pushed this ball up the hill for the first 50 years of my life sometimes when i stumbled it rolled back over me i would hem and haw, curse and complain, get myself together and start over again this process lasted for some time before it was evident to…

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not enough time/ for Molly

i didn’t say everything i wanted to say to you and i didn’t spend enough time getting to know you better i was aware that you made my friend very happy and he was quick to point out how his relationship with you had changed him for the better life…

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the circle

He gave it to me and i wanted to keep it greedy little child that i am shook His head and scolded me and said you need to learn how to share He said what i do for you let it pass through and let the circle continue to grow…

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discontented

sometimes the reasons escape us as to the way we act or feel i have spent countless hours looking for answers that aren’t there so often there are no apparent issues that would justify my demeanor i am human, well almost human…..and go through times when i am off kilter…

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as the smoke clears

this world had it’s way with me with its enticements and its thrills i would go to sleep each night wondering how i could earn its spoils then i saw men who had attained the pleasure that i sought troubled me even more for they appeared as though they were…

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progress

i can sit still…………….doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is in so many ways i was never really here i was always over there in a hurry to turn the page you see that’s what you do when life is living you instead of the other way around…

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this God thing

this God thing had me puzzled until i stopped trying to figure it out i drove out to the country and sat on a rock by a lake i tossed pebbles in the water and watched the ripples spread out until they disappeared i heard a soft voice behind me…

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challenged

this faith has gained me freedom from feet that have led me wrong broken chains that my mind had placed around a heart of stone examples i have plenty of A God that loves me so that has forgiven me the many times i have questioned what He showed Challenged…

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know and do

sometimes i get confused and forget the difference between know and do sounds ridiculous but unfortunately often it is true all the knowledge in the world is akin to knowing how to swim and swimming the knowing won’t keep you afloat, the doing will keep you from drowning i probably…

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i tickle me

i tickle me i must say the things i try to put away only to have them resurface again and again so when i get tired of trying to hide things i would rather not face i take them out and see what needs to be done i won’t do…

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right in front of you

so from these writings but a few will see the man this ”old goat” is trying to be a person people remember not for words he wrote but rather because he was ready to give his coat because everything i have was given to me and when i was ready…

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don’t kid yourself

there is a commonly held misconception that doing the right thing feels good laughable at best………………………… goes way beyond feeling…………..for as we have come to know feelings are often not factual so if we are looking for elation or gratification from doing what is right we will often be disappointed…

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history repeats itself

what have i learned in these years i have stumbled across this earth? that history repeats itself, things we often find offensive we end up perpetuating ourselves is it that example was so indelible in our memories that it doomed us to repeat them? it has often been proven that…

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if you don’t know, you don’t want to know

there are always signs, but we don’t want to see them markers that point the direction we should go doesn’t matter how obvious they are if we don’t want to know you can plead ignorance if you want to, but we know it isn’t so you have chosen not to…

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