there comes a time when reality hits…….. after you have given your best shot…….it’s time to quit……. when you pick up the pen and connect the last dot………the picture was easy to spot, a long time ago………but you couldn’t be honest…….you couldn’t let go……… so the ball you have been dragging was heavier than you…

it’s been awhile since you have been gone but i still feel your presence as i go along and when i seem anxious about the best way to proceed i think of you fondly and ask you to lead……one a natural father and the other an adopted father……when i needed you, you were always there…

the reality is i am in recovery from myself. yes i used alcohol, drugs, women, money to change the way i felt…………..but at the core was an inability and unwillingness to accept what i was and what i wasn’t………scared, inferior and lazy………….and not confidant, truthful or committed…….to anything….. the challenge, to change perception and motivation…

you will never…….never………never……know what is in someones’ head…………..if you know them for 50 years………………live with them or was raised with them or by them……………..never…… but you will know what is in their heart……….by the way they address you……..pay attention to you…….stay in touch with you and confide in you…………………… so forget about trying to discern…

situations…….what people do or don’t do……..desires not met…… lack of appreciation………..respect………injustice……..lies…….unfaithfulness………….the list is virtually endless……..these are hard things that at some point in time most of us will face……….but without a dominant underlying belief and appreciation for life and the wonder of life one is doomed with the seemingly continuous burdens of everyday life …………….stuff…

deny, deny, deny until it’s on top of you……looks you in the eye and says, ”what wrong with you ….you don’t have to like it but stop lying to you”….. you have been in the process for so long that you aren’t even mad that it took you so long……you have been wrong before and…

the ”hard way” still retains it’s place as the accepted method of learning………..you would think that with all the advances in technology that would have changed……..but i’m here to tell you….it hasn’t…. people are still reluctant to embrace the truth if it interferes with their agenda or personal beliefs…….. also still holding it’s rank as…

much as i would like to think i appreciate the significance of things and people in my life……i don’t think we are capable of that realization until it is taken from us or it is lost through negligence or rarely……no fault of our own………………. the love of a friend or partner…family or pets………….we lack the…

i would see you looking out of the corner of your eye…….i knew you were wondering how i always seemed happy and joyful and alive……..it was all i could do to stifle myself and wait till the right time arrived…………finally after no one was left to accuse…….God pointed the finger at you……. you admitted that…

you don’t have to explain it i get the gist…..everyone and everything is on your shit list……..i hear you beating around the bush……but i think you know the problem is you………….we run in the same circles and the people that drive you crazy drive me crazy too…….but i just accept them as flawed……………like me and…