Took a long time for the boat to fill up

it was a small leak ….. but persistent

so  I accepted the situation as unsalvageable

And swam to shore

–

I have spent a lifetime trying to please people that didn’t want to be happy…… needless to say my efforts were futile

never considered myself a “ people pleaser “ but I guess you knew that

lately I’ve been grabbing at straws hoping to start a fire but I stopped….. getting honest with myself to realize it would never warm the inside of me

i finally quit a career that had little to do with me and more about trying to make things better for whoever was in the director’s chair

it was like trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together with gloves on…. Not much luck

so I gave them what they wanted knowing it would only satisfy temporarily and shed the material crap for a life focused on finding….Almost David

He’s here somewhere and I am gathering remnants and hoping to get ideas on where to look next

I have reached the conclusion that I became addicted to relationships that required so much attention I didn’t have time to explore myself…. Because it became easier to help with your piles than to sort through mine

for a long time I blamed the “director’s” but I put them in the chair

it is an elephant to swallow to admit you lived for others because you were to lazy to live and develop yourself

but the boat filled up and it was a good thing …. Because it’s warm out…. The sun is shining and a light breeze is stirring….. I’ll be dry before long

l’m looking for the path to “Almost David “

I know it’s here because I was on it once and now know……. You knew that and tried to tell me

but I didn’t want to hear it because it was to painful to admit that once I thought it was easier to live someone else’s life rather than my own…. And it was

But the price for going with the flow……I drowned in their quicksand…….but you knew that

yes you knew that……..I suppose I did too but was to ashamed to admit it

Almost David