Humbling to admit……

I spent a lifetime trying to live for others….do for others……and be for others

the term “people pleaser” …is a nice way of describing a fake….liar

because the show is a facade……window dressing for a chameleon…..I be what you want me to be

until I can’t take any longer and leave……when most of those situations were never right for me and the people involved in the first place

but me the eternal “let’s give it a try” guy started with the odds heavily stacked against us…..but I wanted to make you happy…..now how was I supposed to accomplish that……when the framework we needed didn’t existed …so I lied to myself and to whoever would believe me…. Kinda

I did a fair amount of damage to myself and others because an honest appraisal seemed low for the market….and that would require disappointing people …..so I did the act until they fell into the trap I laid for them …..by then they had opened their heart and began to trust me …….devastating them because they knew I was bluffing but couldn’t admit it…..their emotions betrayed them …and so did I

the blood bath has stopped and the wounds are healing

thank God for silver linings……never again

now I’m left with dealing with the lies I tell myself but at least I’m not telling them to others

Never again….