sitting on a bench at the Trailways station going back home after a summer with grandparents in Cleveland, Tenn…..got my ticket….. be home by Midnight……brother will pick me up…..

a young freak…..hair down my back and i’m young enough not to be intimidated and stupid enough not to leave well enough alone…………………guy a few feet away is beside himself and he looks up with tears in his eyes and asked……”what the f……. am i looking at”………………i don’t answer but i’m not afraid…….remember i’m young…………….i sit down where i was headed in the first place……………………at this point in my life i have beaten and i have been beat………..no problem…….

he got up and said,”i’m in a bad place, i’m sorry”….. and stuck out his…..i took it and said……”want to walk and talk”…..he said, ”no, but i need to”………i got up and introduced myself and he said his name was Rudy………we walked about a block to the 7-11 and bought a six pack and went out back by the dumpster to sit on a brick wall and talk………looked like it was a regular hangout from the butts and the empty bottles……….

he said i came here this morning and i been sitting on that bench for hours…….going somewhere………but i just can’t do it….

my father left us when we were young and i was raised by an abusive, alcoholic mother…….she drank herself to death at age thirty and i went to work at fifteen and raised my brother and sister in a shed behind a shop i worked in……it was tough but we made it…………………my life is a re-run and i can’t take or couldn’t take it…….God sent this funny looking angel, that would be you……..i have 3 little kids……my wife kinda looks after them till i get home and she leaves and comes back drunk and whatever else she can find and with whomever she can find………i came here to leave it all behind……..but i have been doing some hard remembering and some hard thinking and i can’t do that to those kids…….so after we finish these beers……you’re going to be the last dance for me with alcohol and i’m going home to make sure those kids have at least a chance and hook-up with those AA people”……………….we finished the beers and i remember it to this day Rudy said, ”come on lets dance”…… and behind 7-11 we danced and i ain’t never danced with another man since…………..

we exchanged addresses and numbers and we stayed in touch….Rudy did stay sober and he moved up in the company and did well for himself and his kids………his wife did drink herself to death and i followed in her footsteps until i had enough and called Rudy……..he came and got me…… and got me started on the road to recovery……..he always called me his ”angel” and i always called him mine……….

my life has been nothing short of amazing……still sober and Rudy died sober and his kids and mine are inseparable

that’s why he came back