not afraid what you might do or say…………………………..we’ve been through those types of days…………………but when i hear you brag about what you stole……………

i get afraid of me

this pattern has got to end, this crazy game of sick ”pretend” and i hear you are at it again………not afraid of you………….

i get afraid of me………………

he was just a punk and it made him feel big to run around with a woman older then him…………………..and he fell right into your game of pretend……….and when he caught you in bed with his best friend……..he drove his truck into a semi and that was the end………………….not afraid of you…………………………

i get afraid of me………

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ten years have passed and i heard you were sick, well i already knew that but this time you were licked………………..cancer had ravaged your looks and you were skin and bones and you sent a message through the grapevine…..you wanted to talk before you were gone………………

reluctantly i made the drive out to your estate that you stole from your deceased husband’s family and i knocked on the door and your stepdaughter opened it………….she smiled and waved me in………you see me from the parlor and motion for me to come in…………………..you whole family is there including your husbands’ side…………………….

you raise your emaciated hand and everyone is quiet…………..then you blew us all away……….

”i have lived a self-centered and selfish life…………i have taken, destroyed families, caused a young man’s death……..reeked havoc on this community and lost people and friends from my actions…………i thought i was something…… prancing in other people bedrooms and playing with people’s emotions without regard to how it might affect them or their families……..i admit what a pain i have been and this is my last chance to do the right thing………………………….

i ask for you to consider forgiveness………………this home will return to it’s rightful owners…………………all of the assets will be divided equally among the children and i would like to ask that money be set aside for the family of the young man i used for entertainment……………….thank-you for coming…..i need to rest now……”.

she died 2 days later

i’m not afraid of you…………………..i’m afraid of me………..for taking so long to forgive