maybe it was in a blackout when i use to drink myself to sleep

not really sure if it happened or not but it still feels real to me

in a drunken stupor, this is something like the prayer i prayed

”You know this would go a lot easier for You and for me, if you would just give me the keys to the kingdom and i could stop worrying you and you could stop worrying me”

i was about to dose off, okay pass out, and a voice spoke to me:

” well the first problem would be if you had them, you wouldn’t have a clue what locks to open and what locks to leave closed. you’re so damn confused at times, you can’t tell your fingers from your toes. there aren’t really keys per say they reside in your mind, and since yours isn’t working that well, they would be hard to find. this thing you call living is an exaggeration to say the least. it doesn’t have any of the basic tenants of what a good life is all about. i will spell out your problem and you can take it from there. there are things you can do to turn this thing around. you have to learn to be honest and travel across some shaky ground, but i will hold your hand.

one, get over this victim thing, you brought this on yourself. everyone goes through the valley it’s how character is built. you set up camp because you were discouraged and tired, you should have kept walking until you reached the other side. things haven’t turned out like you wanted and everyone else is to blame, until you face your shortcomings they will never go away. when you wake up, if you do, before your feet hit the floor you sincerely ask me to help you and i will unlock the first door. the keys to the Kingdom have always been in your hand, but you never understood that because you have twisted and warped your mind, your choice goodnight.

i exploded from sleep, shaken to my core, i started to recall my visitor from the night before, i didn’t spend much time deciding if it had happened or was a dream. i took the suggestion and prayed to be set free.

it was almost as if chains broke and it scared me when they hit the floor

i looked down to see them and nothing visible was there

it didn’t matter something was happening to me and i made a commitment to see where the dream would lead

fifteen and a half years later i sit before you know

a man that has been reborn and glad to help others escape

with the ”keys to the kingdom”……………………….better known as Faith