un t unti unti until to until today

until today

today was Mags birthday……………………60

Frank her late husband dead almost 5 years…………………………Tommy their son 20 years, overdose

she was sober for the last 18………………trying desperately to drink herself to death with moderate success………………..only to be kidnapped and taken to rehab by Luke an old friend

she always had dinner on her birthday at Madelynes their favorite Restaurant………….by herself

until today until today

she drank a protein shake and glanced at her devotional book…………felt like lip service and she stopped reading

then it started

the drain is clogged and so is my mind there is a rat running around trying to find the hole that got him into this mess i call a life and today of all days nothing seems right

grab the keys and head for the door, gym is a short drive along the shore and the geese that are flying litter the car with their good morning shit as it hails from above

i smile and shake my head better the car instead of the top of my head

rainbows and missiles and angry trees that wave and bend, wave and bend

approaching the overpass a figure appears and a hand over the railing drops something that hits the passenger window and cause an explosion

i slam on the brakes and i’m okay but mad as hell and i see the figure laughing

i get back in the car and head to the bridge, i’m little but that bastard almost killed me

until today

on the bridge, no one…………nowhere

the boy on the bridge wasn’t around

she looked down at the water and saw Tommy’s face

”come on in the waters’ fine, just a short trip to lose your mind, i left mine way behind when i decided i was tired of being blind”……………….laughing

it’s raining and Mag places one foot on the railing, maybe a good day for a swim

something is whizzing by her ear

a humming bird……………..looking closer it’s Frank speaking in that fake British accent of his”wee bit heavy for a fly are you, get the hell off this bridge before i fly up your arse”

Frank……………………..always there to save the day, except his day

she takes the car to the glass shop and everyone is nice to her and she has a cup of coffee and tells the girl behind the counter she is going for a walk

outside the sun is shining, the rain has stopped and she hears that buzzing sound again

it’s Frank and she hears a faint whisper” doesn’t have to be this way, the past is what it is, but since i can’t be here with you please make it special like we would”

until today………………….existing had been the proper term to describe life

and she felt she had permission to breathe

dinner at Madelynes………………………..what a treat and the waiter slips a card in the check

it reads, ” i lost my wife, was scared to enjoy life, until one day i couldn’t take it and the damn broke……………….realized that i was to continue in honor of what i had, what i lost and new possibilities………………………i would like to ask you out old friend”

from shipwreck to sailing again……………….Serge and Mag have been married for several years

until…………………………………………you stop

you can’t go on