i grew up on the streets, my choice, i just gravitated to it

it has taken some time to sift the hustle out of me

most of it’s gone but i still remember and sometimes still act out

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

westover tony, God sent me by your house today and that unnerved the shit out of me to see a tough guy brought to his knees first by the needle and now by the bottle

i guess it’s somewhat of an improvement, the process of killing yourself will just take longer

but you are headed that way …………………….and you know it

i thought i was a tough guy too and occasionally i look for a fight before regaining my senses and the fact that 64 year olds don’t take a punch like a 20-year-old, what can i say, better than i was, not cured

the swollen face, the loss of spirit, the air of hopelessness, you’re already dead but you don’t know it

you can be brought back, but you have to want it more the comfort of oblivion

i get it, when you get there it’s crazy but it’s a buffer from that nasty, unfair, troublesome world

where it seems people always want you to do something, and when you are in the zone they are far away…………..and they can’t touch you

but then something happens and you can’t stay in that happy carefree place

is it the dope, the lights are too bright, turn down the music, turn off the music, why is the phone ringer on…………………….shit that killed the buzz…………and there is only one answer………………it is not debateable……………………………it is always the remedy and that is more…………………….

more of it and less of you, and more and less……………………until you are a robot and the closest you get to feelings are when you slide down the withdrawal well and you make your hands move and your feet shuffle because you are here and the warmth is there and somewhere in between is the unlucky person who happens to be in the wrong place at the right time for you, who will fund the deal either in money, jewelry, or whatever can be bartered……………………you with your little black mask and broken pistol, you wouldn’t kill them unless they come at you but they don’t know that

so Tony hell is where the party is and by the looks of you it’s eating you alive, you didn’t try to hustle me, thanks

there is someone in there worth saving…………………but you have to find him