my lenses are not clear, perhaps i need to step away from here

to a different vantage point where i can separate ” what is ” from what ” i want ”

”what is” needs to be seen in a different light whereas now there is hurt and strife,  i pray that i can be honest enough to see reality vs. what’s inside of me

often ”what’s inside” of me is colored with fear and the way things are supposed to be, as if i would know

this on again, off again relationship where God is directing the moves, is rewarding but requires the discipline of waiting for direction as opposed to heading off under the quise of i think i know

i don’t know and the reality and all reality depends on what i want

the Toltecs say,be clear and sinless in your word, don’t take things personally, don’t assume, and always do your best.

that isn’t a long list of requirements for a successful life…………………………………easier said then done

it shows both how delusional and fragile i can be when i consider the statement ”feelings aren’t facts” but it is what it is………………… and it is a good place to start the process of growing up