my past is part of me and had a heavy hand in determining my present

but recognizing the power of affirmation or the lack of it i see how my desire to be loved and needed as well as my desire not to be overly exposed has been in a constant battle

i want to be loved and needed and admired, but that requires intimacy and i am afraid that once you know me you will see how to take advantage of me or you won’t think i am worth the trouble, not good enough

i don’t think i am alone in this struggle and having exposed it i am left with what to do

i have decided to pursue the real me that makes my heart sing whether i am with twenty people or alone

authenticity: HAVING THE COURAGE TO RECONSTRUCT MYSELF IN SPITE OF WHAT OTHERS THINK, UNCOVERING THE ESSENCE OF THE PERSON I HAVE BEEN HIDING FROM FOR 64 YEARS

this birthday boy has become a man, and i stand as a witness to the power of good vs. evil, and good won by Gods’ grace

it is both scary to be reborn but i can take solace  in knowing i have been this way before but this time i am choosing another path, it’s marked ” Gods Way ”