they seem to come and go don’t they

the clock spins, the world rearranges itself and we protest, fume, accept and adjust

not necessarily in that order

i am at a point in my life, where i am questioning why i do the things i do

what’s my motivation, my intentions

i’m sure everyone goes through it, just so happens that where i am now

i suppose i have always done hobbies, writing, painting, music with the anticipation that something would come of it and it has…………………….outlet, expression, self-examination

but nothing from a standpoint of outside recognition…………………a few commentaries along the way and many statements such as ”that’s interesting”, but that’s about it

so have i been motivated from the need to share and let others know more about me, or have i been holding on to the desire that people will throw accolades my way and money follows

nothing wrong with developing a talent to the point that it is worthy of compensation, but that can’t be the only reason are it will wear thin quick like cheap socks

then there is the other issue of investing the time to master your craft, which up till now can best be described as wishful thinking

so i can either step up to the plate and crossover to doing the work necessary to become advanced or i can continue to putt along doing what i do for the entertainment of myself without any expectation of anything other than the joy of doing what i do because that’s what i do