i could say it was you who is to blame and get on my high horse and ride away

but you wouldn’t buy it, you are familiar with this game, your look said it all

so when i’ve used all the excuses and they don’t even sound plausible to me

alone with my self and reality comes crashing down…………… i see a marionette gyrating to  strings being pulled by fear

they can recalibrate measuring devices to make them more accurate

God is the technician needed to do the same for me

you see i may brush off any responsibility for my actions with you or others

but alone, still, and quiet………..the truth comes crashing in like waves on a beach

i can no longer lie to me……………………….the drink lied to me, drugs lied to me, i use to lie to me…………………but even in sobriety 101, that crap won’t flush

can’t be honest with your self, can’t stay sober

so they tell me it’s part of the cycle of progression

when what i do doesn’t set right with me and there is no one to blame and i wasn’t looking for them……………………..i am growing up

frustrating to be learning these things this far into the journey, grateful to be learning them at all

i forget my schedule is obsolete, incomplete and not sustainable

when I am not good enough for me……………………….i change