1  it’s not all good that got me here

but it is what happened, that much is clear

and when I do look back the person i see is not the person i am today

that in itself makes it easier to live with my past

 

2  i spent quite a bit of time asking why

the answers i received answered nothing and left me more confused

so i stopped asking and many of those questions were explained to me through living a sober life

 

3 it was never going to be enough for me to stop being careless with my life

i still want many of the things i wanted when i was using…………………………….comradery, excitement, adventure,

discovery, i just go about it is a different way

those things are important to me, they make for a fascinating life……………………………but they are never going to happen under the influence

i actually thought i was pursuing those things, but in reality i was calling fellow users comrades when they were just partners in crime

excitement was actually trying to avoid getting caught doing things i had no business doing

adventure  was going places and doing things that would lead to institutions………………..that is self-destruction, that’s not adventure

discovery was finding out that my moral code was flexible and it would bend as needed to justify my actions

the aforementioned do not make for a fulfilling life, rather chaos

4   it is not supposed to be all good

what i get in sobriety is a chance to work on issues that keep me from the sunlight of the spirit

they’re  just things………………………neither good nor bad

they don’t need labels, they need recognition and acceptance

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

standing on a corner the sign the guy is holding says ”trade you my trouble for yours”

funny………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..nobody stops