the lies i tell myself aren’t as well crafted as they used to be………………………………i suppose subconsciously i know they are lightweights anyway

the balance has shifted and it’s almost not worth the trouble to construct them at all, i said almost

the lazy me still wishes to avoid doing things i just don’t want to do……..the next stage in the progression would be to own up that they are necessary things that have to be done and to put them on a list in order of their importance,……..that is in the offing

favorite rebuttals: ” it can wait, i’ll look into it, that may be a possibility and i’ll see if i can fit it in”………………

i do or don’t do in regard to chores and maintainence……………..very little planning, get the shit you need, do it and done

so until i get to the point that a larger problem looms if i keep ignoring the present one, i will stall and propose all sorts of excuses that are ”lies that i tell myself”

i see you shrugging, yeah we all do it…………………what’s the extra step all about………………………..there is still a need to self deceive

and that’s the part i think sucks………………………………………….slow in the development of higher levels of consciousness