you were the most consistent person, i have ever known

we met in high school and became fast friends in a hurry because we couldn’t find anyone as crazy and wild as we were………we fit the bill perfectly for each other…………………….you told me that you were going to live this way, wide open, the rest of your life and you did

our employment careers took totally different paths but that didn’t stop the 5 o’clock party………………..we were on for the next 30 years, things changed but the one constant was alcohol and drugs………………..you would get home from your carpenter gig and i would show up after a day of sales calls, take off the tie and rolled…………………tapering off around nine to get home, slam a sandwich, take a shower and pass out, over and over and over…………..repeating the same routine

you did a better job of pacing yourself, i didn’t fare so well…………………………………i switched from liquid and leaves to powder and alcohol and it may have been a year, only because of finances, that it owned me

that travesty went on for a few more years until i lived to use, the rest of life was interference………………………….i hit bottom several times until an overdose cleaned my clock, stopped my heart and i barely made it, God did that

so i gave up and that changed our relationship dramatically………………………i still came around occasionally but i didn’t drink or use and you respected that……………………………..it never was the same and how could it……………………………i knew you were going to continue on and that was that

i loved you and i know you loved me…………..we were brothers……………………and what you did and what i stopped doing wasn’t enough to end that love…………………….herione did that

i watched the ”evil” sisters take you down and by that time you were defenseless

they said you died of a heart attack and maybe so, but it was brought on by dope

you did it…………….lived the way you wanted and i am grateful you were in my life and you were a good brother to me

it wouldn’t be right for me to say, ” you should have done this or you should have done that”…………………..you lived it like you wanted to…………………………………………..wide open

miss you Parker