it doesn’t matter now, that was his name………………..his family wouldn’t dispute a word of this anyway

this is called ”cracking the safe”/ for r.s.

a bastard………………………., nothing good to say about anyone or anything

everyone has had or will have an r.s., in their life, most of us will put them in a box and deal with them only if they have to and put them out of their life altogether if possible

but a few of us………………..who can be as big a bastard as r.s. , say ”wtf, is up with this s.o.b ” and commence scratching the surface which irritates them more and makes them very uncomfortable…………………………….because they are scared you might get there……………………………” to the land of broken toys”……………………………………..where nobody goes because then they will know ”why”

i was that person for r.s.

i dunno………………..what’s the truth?………………..i am stubborn and if you want to keep something from me, i become a terrier, you know a ratter………………………and i start digging

you hiding something…………………………………………if i give a sh…t a bout you i’m gonna find out……………..this has has changed over the years, not to expose or humiliate you but there must be something there i need to learn and you are going to teach me like it or knot, yes i meant to spell not that way

it was after a few years of this parlay………………………no one in the neighborhood would have  anything to do with him…………..but you needed someone…………………………to cut your grass, you had gotten to where you couldn’t start your lawnmower and i found that out after your grass was 3′ tall………………. i was the neighborhood kid that would do anything to make a buck……………….no kidding………….my brother and i would clean the bathrooms in mr. wheeler’s rooming house at fifty cents a pop until my dad found out and that ended……………we lost $6 bucks a week…………………….big money 50 years ago, mr. wheeler almost lost his head……………………

so i figured i would see the dragon face to face and try to make a deal………………………………$10 bucks every 2 weeks and i would supply my own mower and gas…………………………..and you took the deal because there were no other deals to pick from……………so we started a shaky relationship that lasted for about 10 years when i got a real ”part-time” gig and passed the business over to my younger brother which is another story that we will not enter here.

then one day you made a mistake or just maybe you planned it, i don’t know……………………..i had finished your yard and i rang the door bell and  you didn’t  answer……………the door was ajar and i pushed it a little and i saw you at a table in the corner doing something and you were totally engrossed, you looked up and saw me and almost had a stroke………………because now i had seen it…………………….the diamond in the back of the closet………………………………..it was a bird you were carving……………..a beautiful bird that was as close to the real thing as you can get. then i noticed there were hundreds of them on shelves around the room…………………………….you tried to hide…………to scream at me and i was in a trance and nothing you said mattered…..it was too late

for the next few minutes i looked at your carvings in awe…………………….and i could hear you talking in a tone not familiar to me, ……………. you were talking about your carvings, how you did them and sent them to Children’s Hospitals all over the U.S., to kids that were dying or suffering from life threatening illnesses……………………i pulled a chair from the table and sat down and you continued talking in that tone……………even and low

i was about 13……………………..you told me you were married a long time ago and you had a son that had been born with polio and respiratory complications……………………………he lived for 8 years and it broke you and your wife’s heart when he died………..shortly thereafter the marriage ended………………..and you became a little more reclusive over time. after retirement you started to drink heavily but that prevented you from carving so you got sober,but never re-entered society

i had cracked the safe………………………everything changed and i could see things changed with your neighbors around you…………you made attempts to rejoin the human race

i would visit you from time to time,  you told me the last time i saw you before you died, that i saved your life and you gave me a black bird you had carved………………..i still have it

the lessons i learned from the most unlikely teacher remain……………………namely, we all face challenges, how we handle them will determine whether the caterpillar will become a butterfly or not

r.s., i found a way to love you after i cracked the safe

that one didn’t get away