my old man,dad, father…………………………..and he was all these at different times depending on what his middle son, me, did to provoke the living sh..t outta him

i can say at 63 that he did the best he could for me and my brothers. given what i know now and being at a different place in my life, my perspective has matured and the need to blame parents or anyone for the myriad paths my life took is gone.

he was a character……..smart,with the tact of an elevator…………………………….sharp wit and sharper tongue………..he was the youngest of four brothers and he caught hell         his brothers were tough physically………………..he was tough mentally

i was determined to be anything but my dad…………………………..as i understand now whatever you focus on you become

so in my commitment not follow in my dad’s footsteps…………………………i filed right in line

that pissed me off mightily for awhile, but the truth is my Father was a lot more good than he was bad, just like me

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we languish over being raised this way or that way/ taught to respect this and fear that/this is good, this is bad……………..on and on and on

fact is everyone, in any family, wherever they are, whoever they are has some shit they have to sort out and deal with and that’s the way it is………………………………so you nor i are special………………………what did you expect you were raised by humans………..and humans make mistakes, believe lies and put cookies out for Santa, plug for you Santa

so really, short of being thrown in a dungeon and fed worms, unfortunately i realize this stuff happens, you are just like the rest of us, bruised but still edible

i never imagined i could or would ever say this, hell i even told you so………………………………..Pop, i was wrong about so many things and i do miss you and remember you taught me what you could when i stood still and listened……………….sorry that wasn’t as much as i would have liked now or as much as you would have liked then

see you on the beach……………………..