walking the alleys of my soul, I am reminded of events and people that I empowered or I let take my power, either way the fault lies with me       I pick up relics that return me to a time and place and resurrect it as my memory allows, returning it carefully to the pile and wondering did I glean the lesson I needed to learn from the event      perhaps not or I wouldn’t be attracted to the reminder     I think about the past occasionally, I think it’s healthy      I have no desire to return there and I don’t live there on a daily basis…………………it’s gone and I’m glad, real glad

my first visits here were very painful and disruptive,  hoping to change what was already written in stone     wasted, futile efforts that left my eyes swollen and opened old wounds              so acceptance was the key to making peace with my past and it becoming and invaluable  resource        that is how I reacted then, these were the consequences and how can I do a better job this time? 

I come now with respect for the past for it was part of the equation to get me where I am today……………….almost stable                         looking for lessons half learned and clues to what lies ahead

I tried to bury these relics but that didn’t work,  the winds of change uncovered them from time to time, almost saying ”you’re not finished here”         I have come to deem them for what they are, a journal of where I have been

I am neither chained nor tethered to them     a naked page arises with the sun and I make entries in this document of life everyday and the page turns with every moon

moving forward