it was beyond my capacity as a child to question the reason why my parents were deaf and I could hear, it just was

I became the recorder and transmitter, covering things I couldn’t understand and things I had never experienced and didn’t have a clue about

I was given a responsibility that would not be considered or allowed under the laws of today         and I get it        but it just, just wasn’t like that at the time

I grew up fast and I became a great listener, and a good reader of people / I had to interpret them before I conveyed their words

I wasn’t always right about how I sized people up/ but i was right more often than not

you look for things:  nervous hands, nervous feet, the eyes; calm and focused or moving, looking away         tense or relaxed shoulders     breathing was very important, the breathing shaped the words and they could mean different things how they were stretched or shortened        “the situaaaationnnn”  it was drawn out to emphasize and make something bigger than it really was, commonly called getting screwed /   or ”situation”  something was amiss but it wasn’t that big of a deal, regular stuff no big drama

when it was realized that much would depend on me and the way I presented it to my parents, the scammers would take a special interest in me      offering sweets or drinks, also known as bribery/ I resented that tactic and so did my parents

the straight shooters would sit me down and take time to explain about the boiler, or the plumbing or whatever and usually they would show me the problem with my parents or parent/   that was a good sign  and when we found people we trusted they had our business

the worst were the dentists and doctor appointments, they were tough and challenging           Mom’s visit to her doctor was terrifying to me……….about her personal things………….but I did it

of course I learned to sign, from a deaf woman and that was very difficult at first but I can see now it was the best way to learn and fast, I think the term today is ”total immersion”, more like controlled drowning

somehow we made it/ they learned how to read lips but the person had to be directly in front of them and talk very slowly/ which almost no one did

looking back giving you what you needed gave me what i needed       I am a very good listener , it’s  what i do as my vocation, help people with technical problems after they describe what’s going on           I have developed patience and don’t get overwhelmed easily        I examine faces and can usually tell how the communication will be….tense, relaxed, confrontational or informative

I suppose we all can say we are what we are because of what we didn’t have, and what we did to replace it, with what we did have

I cannot imagine having anyone else as parents, never think about it, never thought about it

you are something very special, in that you gave me things and said things in your own ways that no audible parent  could     it way always your eyes

i was blessed to be your son and, I’m always hear for you

Brian